Farewells

My dear friends’ mother and grandmother passed away early yesterday morning. Her granddaughter is one of the people nearest and dearest to my heart; she also happens to have autism. When her dad told her Grandma had died that morning, she asked when the memorial. Calendars are very important to her. And when he told her that he and Mom would be sad that day, her response was “That’s a good idea.” What better response could there be, really? At a time when so many people struggle to find words, her response was authentic and empowering.

“That’s a good idea” encompasses so many potential messages. Take time to grieve. Allow yourself to be sad. Don’t apologize for your process. Give yourself permission to make time for your process in the midst of caring for all the other details that follow a death. State what you need clearly. Act from your heart. Good advice all. And even more wonderfully, she allowed it to be about her mom and dad’s needs. That may be the best response I’ve heard yet.